Hand To Mouth

Posted August 1st, 2010 - by Stephanie

It’s tough to be an artist. Artists, don’t let anyone tell you different. All those people who say you should just be happy you get to do what you love for a living? Punch them in the face. Here’s the damn truth, people. Anything that you treat as a job, IS a job, no matter how different it is from your cubicle job. There are good days and bad days. Sometimes the bad outweighs the good and vice versa. I’m tired of holding my tongue when people say these resentful comments to me. It’s a trade off. You get your money, I get to make my own schedule. You get your vacation, I get to drink alcohol on the job.

Here lately I just feel tired. What do I really want from all of this? I got to ride in a car with some of my closest musician friends tonight, and we all agreed that the music scene around these parts is a bit inscestual and lame. From my point of view, all the power has been put into the consumer’s hands. I don’t function this way. If you’re an artist, you probably don’t either. Art is not about letting someone persuade your writing, painting, creating, etc. But even the mention of the word “art” can scare people away. Yet, I am willing to let those people go. If “art” is a scary word for you and you are reading this blog, close this browser window and never come back.

There. Now I can breathe a little better.

So is this the way all music scenes become when they see some success among the troops? The music business is a weird, weird thing. There is a beautiful combination of performance, personality, talent, and connection that must be reached to see progress in a career, I believe. I’m not saying people don’t stumble upon success, because they most certainly do. But I speak more of longevity. While it’s important to know this, it’s more important to act on it. But let me see you poised and pretty after a room full of people didn’t clap once, were so loud you couldn’t even hear your speakers, and in all reality were probably too small-town, over-the-hill, bred-on-top-40-”k”untry-music to give two shits about a songwriter. Don’t play those gigs you say? Ah, and here we are back at square one. Those are the gigs that pay the bills. Just a bad day at the office, you know?

I knew a man
I would say I was tired of playing music
He couldn’t understand how that could be so
And so
I didn’t either

Then one day I was licking envelopes
And I realized
He was 33
I was 29
He was successful by the time he’d reached 29
And I knew

He’d never know what it’s like
To play bars for 10 years
And still be living
Hand to mouth